Thursday, April 19, 2007

Thursday Thirteen



Things I have helped remove or seen removed from the human body (Some I'll tell you from where, others you will have to guess)....

1. 3 golf balls

2. Gatorade bottle

3. A can of shaving cream

4. Electric toothbrush (still running)

5. Cockroaches (always in ears)

6. An apple and a jar of grape jelly (Smuckers seriously needs to talk to someone about their product placement)

7. Glass Coke Bottle

8. Untold numbers of adult toys

9. A glue stick

10. A Rock (shoved up a 2 year-old's nose)

11. Car Keys (If your boyfriend is trying to leave, your vagina is the last place he will look for his keys. Just make sure you can reach them)

12. A flashlight still on. (The look on the doctor's face when we got the patient up in stirrups was priceless.)

13. A fork, tines down. (Apparently, you should never piss off a bunch of frat boys then pass out at their house.)

These have all occured in the last 3 and a half years since I started in the ER.

Lia

11 comments:

Rhonda Helms said...

OH MY GOD! Okay, that's utter INSANITY!!!

Jennifer Shirk said...

Holy Smokes!
That list is excellent!
And scary...

Jennifer McKenzie said...

LOL. I notice you didn't mention any gerbils. That I've heard about but never seen.
The car keys one is HILARIOUS.

Lia said...

Jennifer,
I have never actually seen the gerbil thing. Heard it alot, but never seen it. I limited myself to personal experience. If we want to talk about credible stories from others, I could go on for days.

Lia

R.G. ALEXANDER said...

LMAO! I'm not surprised-but that is funny!

Gina Ardito aka Katherine Brandon said...

I so do NOT want to know the orifice for ANY of these! LOL!

Unknown said...

Ewwwww. I'm *so* glad I don't have your job. :)

Crystal Jordan said...

I threw up in my mouth a little at number 5.

Heather said...

Euuwwww... All good reasons why I do not work in any field of medicine.

P. Robinson said...

Oh my gosh that was, hmmm insightful is all I can say. I was surprised not to see a gerbil on that list.
I only have one story and it involves hot sauce- not a pretty picture.

Dayna_Hart said...

I read these while on the phone.
Poor girl listened to me read 1-9 before I lost it, and couldn't read aloud anymore.